Becoming a mother = realizing YOUR mother was right about everything (ok… mostly everything.)

#motherhood #moms #mamas

created by LadydeeLG @dianalimongi

Via someecards

1.  10 months into it, I think bedtime routine saved my sanity.

2. It’s great that my LO is repeating everything I say… except when he is trying to repeat the occasional curse words that may make their way out of my mouth.

3. The ability of someone so cute and cuddly to produce such massive amounts of poop baffles me…Why? How? WHY???

4. Baby classes are great for kids- but they are meant to exhaust parents and kids share a lot more than toys (bodily fluids, germs, etc)

5. You know that gut feeling that says “don’t dress him up until you are ready to go out?” and you know how you ignore it?? Well… I’ve learned, you don’t ignore the gut feeling! (never fails, ready to go out… spills/dirt/stains/spit will happen)

6. When all else fails, give a kid any O shaped cereal.

7. I used to think gift cards were impersonal, but now I truly appreciate their worth…so practical have some stashed when LO needs to go shopping!

8. I don’t know what the top Ten or Rihanna’s latest hit is, but I do know all the lyrics to all the Fresh Beat Band songs…

9. and I confess I sing them even when my son is not with me!

10. Everyone talked about the lack of sleep when baby arrives, but no one mentioned the lack of bathroom privacy… SERIOUSLY —- WHAT is up with that??

11. you know that ONE time when you think you won’t need your big diaper bag that has everything you could possibly need? So you leave with a couple of diapers and wipes in your purse, acting all confident?  THAT is the day when your kid decides to spit up, or has a poopy diaper explosion, or makes a mess on his shirt… that day when you don’t have a change of clothes, that is when it happens, not all the other 364 days when you are overly prepared.

12. When you hear a screaming baby or toddler in a public place—don’t judge. That might be you one day… or maybe that was you before. Just smile sympathetically and walk away. (or offer to buy me a drink)

13. If you don’t have a baby and really love your friend who has a cute baby at home, offer to babysit, you will score like a gazillion good karma points.

14. Babies are smart—they will try to outsmart you… it’s a parent’s job to not let that cute smile and adorable face to get away with murder…even if that means they cry their little eyes out… they will eventually forget you said no… and…

15. It is OK to say no.

16. Some things do get easier—I remember I missed my first doctor’s appointment because it was taking me FOREVER to get ready. I was A HOT MESS! Now, I still go back to my apt at least twice to get something I forgot before I leave the house, but hey, at least I don’t miss my appointments.  (Celebrate the small wins!)

17. Those stairs in the subway in those elevator-less stations?? They were so daunting at first; I wouldn’t dare go alone with baby and stroller… now? No problem! (I would still prefer if the elevator was available… despite the stink inside—I just learned to hold my breath for a bit, and don’t let baby E touch anything, eeewww)

18. That being said, yes some things do get easier… some things just DON’T. It’s motherhood, instructions not included.

It happened on Wednesday night. I had never experienced it before, but boy does it suck!

You see, it was back to school for me this week too, I’m in my second year at NYU, at the Wagner School of Public Service. I go to school part-time and this semester I have two night classes. This means that I don’t see my son two nights in a row…to make matter worse, my baby boy had his first fever on Labor Day! 102.4… I did call the doctor at 630 am. (he promptly called me back… go Premier Pediatrics!) and I did try to justify my call by adding, “it is the first time my son gets a fever.” The fever was back on Tuesday morning (100.1) but it was not as high, and I could not miss work… so I was feeling EXTRA guilty for not staying home with the little mushball… he didn’t want to eat, he kept saying “ma ma ma ma” OUCH… dagger through my heart. My only consolation was that he was staying with abuela. So not only did I not see him for two nights under regular circumstances, but he was sick as well, so he was extra needy… and I was feeling extra guilty. I swear on Thursday morning he was kind of giving me the cold shoulder, pretending not to hear me calling his name and asking for a kiss.

I read somewhere that babies (I can still call my 17 month old a baby right?) don’t hold grudges. Thank goodness for that! I try to make up not being home by doing other things—I take him to a music class on Saturdays when we can go, and I also take him to the park some days when I get home from work (ok… truthfully, sometimes it is not the park, but the supermarket… but hey, it’s a trip outside the house!) We have dance parties to the Fresh Beat Band, we color, and when I am home I am the one who does bathtime and sleeptime. Another super special way of bonding with my son is to make him his food, I feel like I am doing something that he will enjoy while I am away!

I have come to appreciate the extra early morning time we have… Never thought I’d say that! Usually I pray that he sleeps just a little longer so I can stay in bed just a little longer. But now, I love that extra half hour or so, before the craziness begins, lots of cuddling, hugging and gazing into each other’s eyes! Yes it’s true! The other day I was so tired (school, work and staying up for the conventions can do that to a girl!) that when we were laying down on the couch hugging I just closed my eyes for a minute (I hope it was only a minute) and when I opened my eyes I see baby E in my face grinning from ear to ear. It was priceless.

Perhaps you’re wondering why I’m just experiencing this now, 14 months after I went back to work. Well, truthfully, it is because I enjoy being at work… Don’t get me wrong I do miss my son—but staying home is not for me at this time. I’m the type of person that needs to have a lot going on…I know that if I only had work and baby, I would feel that something is missing. I want to be intellectually stimulated, and my classes sure do that for me… I feel alive! I also want a career in nonprofit, so I am really looking forward to finishing my MPA.

It is definitely hard to not see my sons two nights in a row, but for now, it is what it is. I love being a mother… but I am not only a mother, it is just a part of who I am. I am lucky that I have support from my hubby and family, and I am sure that when I am done, Baby E will be proud of his momma too.

Have you experience mommy guilt? How do you deal with it? Share your thoughts below, or via Twitter, @dianalimongi

Have a great weekend! Cherish the time with your kids!  

Dear Mrs. Romney,

I heard your speech. You said that women in America don’t expect their lives to be easy… well… perhaps that is true…  but I can tell you what would make our lives easier:

1.       The ability to control our own reproductive cycles, the ability to decide how many children we want to have and when we want to have them. The decision to conceive, continue or terminate a pregnancy should not be discussed on Capitol Hill. It is a decision that should be between a woman, her partner, and her doctor. Period.

2.       Maternity leave that is longer and paid… we are the ONLY industrialized nation that does not have PAID MATERNITY LEAVE. It really is quite disgraceful. I know Republicans like to say that we live in the greatest country in the world, but the truth is, our policies toward mothers, even though you claim they are the ones that are holding America together, are NOT the best policies that support mothers and families. That is simply the truth.

3.        If the GOP is so pro-life, the least they could do it provide support for all those babies that are going to be born, but more importantly how about providing children who are already HERE with what they need instead of cutting services?  How? With access to insurance programs for  children so that all children receive healthcare,  access to early childhood education programs to prepare children for school, good education systems so that these children can be competitive workers when they are adults. Unfortunately, it seems that these types of programs are exactly the types of programs that lack funding, or the ones that have to be cut first. (it really is a miracle though, there always seems to be money in the defense budget…)  

4.       Access to daycare: the GOP likes to say that it values WORK, and that it is important to instill a work ethic, not to rely on handouts, etc. etc. But… do you know what it takes to be a working mother? Are you aware that many times, it is not even worth working because daycare is so expensive that its cost would be equivalent to a paycheck?  Or, it is  non-existent, making it impossible to work outside the home?  Along those same lines, if the education system was better, if schools offered afterschool programs, perhaps women could find time to work without having to worry about babysitters and where their children will be after school.

5.     Our lives would be easier, if health insurance wasn’t so damn difficult to navigate. Do you know anything about preventative care? It is better to have health insurance and prevent sickness than to take care of a sick child or loved one… healthcare should be a given, it is a right… children need it, parents need it to be healthy and be productive workers. Also, you talked about women being the caretakers of elderly parents… why does the Republican Party want replace Medicare for Vouchercare? Do you really need to add another layer of crap that is going to fall on our plates? Who do you think is going to have to shop around for the best insurance? I can guarantee you that it be wives, big sisters, little sisters, and daughters. (and since you did say we do most of the work… I am sure you will agree with this statement.) 

Finally, I would like you to know that as a mother, I appreciate that you said that moms are “the best of America, and the hope of America” … it takes great moms to raise great sons and daughters that are the future of this country. So thank you for saying that. But, as a woman, I found your speech and many of the comments made at the RNC dismissive and hurtful, and a bit ridiculous. (Unless you are trying to alienate single women everywhere, in which case, I think you did an excellent job.) Did you purposely ignore so many women out there, who are not moms??  You were blessed with five boys… but do you realize that there are women who are not mothers, not by CHOICE but because that is what life decided (or, if you prefer, that is what God decided.) There are also women that did decide not to be mothers, and they have a voice.  Women are important, they have a say!  Let me repeat.  All women are important. NOT just MOTHERS!  They all work hard, and they should not be dismissed like a non-existing bloc. I really hope that these women will wake up and make it to the polls in November, and that they vote for the candidate that has women’s best interests in mind… sadly, Mrs. Romney, that candidate is not Mitt.

Sincerely,

Diana (mother, wife, daughter, big sister… most importantly …. WoMAN.) 

When I was pregnant, hormones raging, I had a panic attack one day (not sure if you can call it that?) and I started crying hysterically… why? Because as a baby was growing inside me, I was perhaps more aware of life itself… being born, dying… and I started thinking about my parents. And I started thinking about the day when they will no longer be around. As a result, I started crying hysterically, and when my husband said “why are you crying?” I replied, “I don’t want my parents to ever die… I want them to live forever.” (in between sobs… it might have taken me a minute or two to get these sentences out.)

It is amazing how your perspective on so many things change when you become a mother. First, you experience and realize the extraordinary power of your body (you grew a human being inside you! Then… you make milk! HOLY COW –no pun intended!) For months after I gave birth I would look at myself and look at my son and say “that didn’t really happen… he didn’t really come out of ME…”

Second, and the most important thing I realized when I became a mom was the power of life and the reality of finite life… just as I am now giving life to a human being, someone gave life to me, and that there is a circle of life, birth, growth, death; and then it hit me: the awful reality that parents don’t live forever and that my time with them is precious.

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